Oh, happy day! I finished knitting my new cowl. I finished it exactly a month after we got back from Seattle. I found a great yarn shop there, saw the sample project, fell in love with it, had to find different colors (because, naturally, the ones in the sample were gone) and then came home and began knitting.
This NEVER happens! No matter how many times I get inspiration from Alicia Paulson’s blog, where she shows pictures constantly of some wonderful project in the works on her circular needles, I never manage to take the inspiration to the next level and actually do something with it. Except this time I did!
I am always afraid to start a new project because I am afraid I will mess it up and then it will lie in a tangled heap, never to be heard from again. But, for whatever reason, this time when I began, I started with the sample to get gauge (people really do this, I understand). Though, I confess, the needles were bigger than the pattern called for, so I abandoned the swatch and got the right needles and just went to town. Even though I had to rip out 45 minutes worth of work a couple times because I messed up, it didn’t seem to bother me. It was totally Zen knitting.
And did I ever knit! I knitted for almost an hour at a time. I knitted as long as I could till my eyes got fuzzy with squinting (new glasses should arrive this week – bifocals, argh). But I did it. When I tried it on, in the end, it seemed a little taller than I really wanted, so maybe the next time (there will be a next time) I’ll knit two rounds rather than three. We’ll see.
So, why do I never knit more than I do? Fear. I think this is a pattern in my life. No. I know it is a pattern in my life. It may not appear that way to other people, because I usually do crazy things and jump in with both feet (sometimes without looking, which gets me into trouble occasionally). But I often hesitate to do things because I am afraid of the outcome. Doubting Thomas syndrome? Because I don’t want to look stupid? Probably both. Also because I am sometimes (many times?) too lazy to do the legwork ahead of time to do something new.
So, time to change. It’s summer, so I have time to try to work this out. This week Ed is on RAGBRAI (I was supposed to go, but opted out after our little bike crash caused me to bum up my shoulder; shoulder is better, but not the brain, so here I am at home). But this is okay. I am purging closets and shelves and the house in general. I am making appointments at the resale shops, finding charities for items and moving on this.
I feel better already, and a little less fearful. Though I stepped into the Heart of Darkness yesterday when I had to go to the city to apply for a electrical permit for the sunporch (apparently you need one BEFORE the work begins – shhhh). But I did it.
And today is another day, as Scarlett reminds us. So I am going to work like mad and get a lot done. But I will start off with Yoga for Stress (a great class – went last week for the first time and loved it). I will even take the dog for a walk at Sunderbruch today. I got a retractable leash on Saturday and figure she needs a daily walk for her mental and physical well being, as do I.
And I shall quilt. And I shall clean. And I shall weed. And I shall purge.